📘 The author, a practicing Roman Catholic, was confronted in 2002 with a leadership crisis in the church. Decades of horrendous clergy sexual abuse of children was accompanied by an even more momentous hierarchical betrayal in the cover-up of the crimes. The explosion in 2002 ended his naïveté and caused him to rework his understanding of the history and methods of hierarchy, and to think about the evils of clerical monarchy. The basic determinants of the current church crisis are, first, the sacred hierarchism of church structure and, second, the culture of clericalism that flows from it. The author argues that the church needs a thoroughly desacralized and demythologized leadership if Catholic clericalism is to be eliminated. The book also reflects on the lived Catholic life, contrasting the life of the priesthood and the life of marriage and family. The approach is at once narrative, historical-critical, and ecclesiological. It also offers a personal look at the author's life as a Catholic for the past seventy years. The basic existential issue is "Why am I still a Catholic, and, indeed, why is anyone?"